A few crazy weeks.

Well school year is coming to an end. My mother in law has been in the hospital for cancer treatment .
Things have been complicated. Nevin has been regressing in some things but moving forward in others.

He is such a happy little man. I wish sometimes the rest of us could learn from him.

Oh well Ill be posting more later

Dad

P.S. The blog name will be changing to something that is closer to my son. His nick name is boogie woogie as he loves to dance. So I figured that would work.

Been a couple days

Its been a couple days. The whole family hasn't been feeling well. Seems Isa is starting to feel better. I have to reschedule her doctors appointment tomorrow for Thursday maybe. Or Friday so i have a Car. but she seems happy today so that is a good sign.

Nevin had to miss school today because he is sick. He only has wed this week left now. We are still uncertain if we are sending him or not. I pray both of them feel better soon. Mommy and daddy could deal with feeling better soon too lol

Night all

Dad

Do I regret or do I say thank you?

   Im not sure any more what to think. When my son was diagnosed with Autism it was so "obvious" and easy to swallow. after all it was what we had expected the problem to be. Now I find my self doubting. Im lost as to what to do for my little angel. I just want what is best for him. Why does this have to be such a fight?
They say we live in a modern society of compassion and equality. Daily I see this is not true. My wife and I have had to fight tooth and nail for our son and what is best for him. Why should we have to fight our own government to get him what he needs to move on with his life.

"Son I promise I will never stop fighting for you. I love you and your sister and Mother. I cant give up on you and I will not settle for the crap. No one will get in my way of making sure you have everything you need. "

Good night people

Dad.

I love you son. Always. 

Daddy. 

Dreams for my son.

I keep holding out in my heart that we can all some how help Nevin become "normal". I had my heart broken tonight when I realized something. That is not the goal I should have for my son.  So many people get caught up in the image of what he should be. He needs his mommy and daddy to love him for what he is allready being. Between a few documentaries tonight and bath time for Nevin I found my self questioning the methodes that we have used. I have been so busy trying to get him into our world when I should be working to become part of his. So setting besides the bathtub tonight blowing bubbles I felt my heart drop and then rise with joy. I let my self get caught up in the bubbles with him. It was fun and we played together with the bubbles for 20 mins or so.

We were watching one film and the mom kept saying that " she felt like everything she did she had to save his life". I realized how much am I missing out on a wonderful little boy by trying to safe his life. Tomarrow I'm going to start doing research. If it is out there I will learn it. My son deserves no less from me. I have to keep telling my self that all that matters is him being happy with his life.

Well its good night again from this dad.

Good morning

Seems to be a good morning. I think we need to work on Nevin and Isa sharing lol but they seem to be doing ok.

Joe's was a smash hit.

Ok joe's crab shack was kickin. Great server great manager. Had a problem with the hostess but the manager fixed it asap. Nevin had a blast on the playground. It was awesome. I think we have a new spot for our crew. Thanks joe's crew for the great expiance.

Been a fun morning

We went to babies r us to get a sippy cup for Isa and found some shoes for Nevin lol. Then went to walmart grocery store to discover 3 and 4 dollar garden plants. All vegies and herbs. So we spent $40 on those lol. We are going to make it a family project to get things going with that. Like build a couple above ground planters or flower beds for them. Also goin to work on two mango trees. I love mangoes I hope the kids do to.

This afternoon around 3 we are taking the kids to Joe's crabshack. I know Nevin is looking forward to the outside time. He was so well behaved this morning shopping he deserves a special outing. Not to mention mommy and daddy can't wait for the food.

Well I'm trying to get him to sleep

Dad

So much for long nights of sleep lol.

         Seems Isa likes to tease daddy. She loves to give me one full night of sleep every now and then. lol. She gets my hopes up that maybe they are coming soon and then, BAM!!! 1 AM WAKEUP CALL!! the very next night lol.

          Oh well. Its nice being able to hold her in my arms while she half asleep has a drink and passes back out in my arms. I keep reminding my self in a few years Ill be wishing for these days again. I know I already miss them with Nevin. Its rare for him to let you just hug him. Or even to hold him for a minute or two.

           Isa has been showing signs of walking. Pulling her self up and taking a few unassisted steps. So it wont be long till she is running the house with her big bubby; whom she admires so. She is skipping crawling and scooting, I think to catch up with big brother faster. She giggles all the time when he is running around her in circles and having fun.

This is Isa the day she was born.

She is such a diva lol. her mommy has already taught her the value of shopping and how to raid daddies wallet. She sees the bank card and she goes for it every time. I think i might be in trouble. When we take her to wall mart all she does is smile at every one and everything. Especially in the clothing section.

Well its time for me to get my day rolling. We are taking them to Joe's Crab shack today so Nevin can play on the playground there. He loves it there.

Later for now

Dad

P.S. some more pics of my little angel.

Glimmers of hope

    It seems Nevin likes to gives us little glimmers of hope as I call them. Reminders that he is in there. That it is just our job to figure out how to get past the walls nature put up. Today it was something simple. He said bye to his teacher. It may not seem like much to others but to me it was everything. Then this evening before bedtime we was sitting on the couch with me. Just chilling with dad. It was so cool he said on the opposite arm of the couch from me and put his little arm up on the back of the couch and his legs up on mine so he was sitting exactly the same way I was just the opposite direction.

   When he looks me in the eyes I can see so much in there. 

    His mind is full of dreams good and bad. He has an imagination like I only dream of. I know my little man is in there. And I promise son I will never stop trying to get to you.

Good night.

Dad

One Month / Three Years / A Life Time

      In one month my son turns 3. Last month my daughter turned 1. but for some reason it seems like so much more than 3 years. My son Nevin has Autism. this blog is setup to share what he teaches me. I have learned so many things from him. I thought I might share them. You see I grew up as an artist. I used to see the world so vivid. And while it might be exhausting keeping up with him. My son has taught me to see the world that way again. Every thing to him is new and wonderful. Awe inspiring. Even the simple things I used to forget. Like the sound of his mom's voice when she sings, or the sun light pouring threw the window.
So this blog is about him. I hope you stay a while and enjoy. If not its a way for me to express how I'm feeling each day. So.     here it goes.....



      I have been thinking a lot about things lately. Tonight I think it is hitting me hard. I found my self looking at pictures of my son and daughter, and I nearly broke down. In some ways I blame my self for my son having Autism. Or him not getting help sooner. I see the pictures of him with big smiles when he was younger and it seems like i have forgotten that little man. It is so easy to become wrapped up in his condition and working to do what is right for him. That we forget about the little boy looking for love. My wife and I have worked hard to avoid this, but no matter how hard you try it happens some times.

   My wife doesn't know this but often i find my self thinking about him and our daughter at night. I keep asking my self if we are doing what is right for him. All i care about any more is that smile. I just want him to be happy. 

Did you know that they say its possible

To loose your self in a smile

Did you know that they say its possible

To forget the world for a while

Did you know that they say its possible

To see the stars in your eyes. 

Did you know that its impossible 

to not love you at first site. 

Well its time for this dad to go to bed. good night.